


Marble and Wax

by ALPHAwolf



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies), The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Coming Out, Greek History, Illiad, M/M, father son moments, gay greeks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 04:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21451708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: It would seem one never truly stops being a night guard.A.k.a. Achilles is a dramatic bitch who won’t stop fucking crying and Nick has something he needs to say.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus
Comments: 5
Kudos: 178





	Marble and Wax

As per their usual Friday night, Larry and his son sat at the small kitchen table of his apartment eating Chinese takeout. Now, usually Nick would be chatting endlessly, telling him all about college since he’d started studying history, but tonight he seemed to be preoccupied, silently shovelling fried rice in his mouth.

He supposed it could have just been the fact that he just finished the semester, but as a teacher he’d certainly never known a student to be disappointed about a break.

“Good?” The man inquired, Nick suddenly seeming pulled from his thoughts.

“Yeah.” Something about the reply wasn’t convincing, and being ever the concerned parent Larry decided some prodding was in order.

“Something on your mind?” Nick seemed to consider the question, swallowing his food prematurely and letting out a sort of sigh.

“Dad... I- need to tell you-”

He silenced as the other’s phone began to buzz loudly from its place on the table, lighting up brightly in demand for attention.

“Sorry,” His father apologised, checking the screen to see if it was pressing enough to interrupt their conversation, “huh, it’s Tilly,” considering the woman hadn’t contacted him in some time it was quite possibly important, “I should probably take it.” Nick nodded, appearing just as intrigued.

“Hey, what’s up?” Larry asked as he put the phone on speaker for Nick’s benefit. A distant but constant wailing blasted through, his first thought being that the museum was on fire.

“We’ve got a big problem!” Tilly replied, her thick cockney accent overpowering the background chaos. It was now Larry realised it wasn’t a fire engine’s siren, but someone yelling.

“Wha- what’s with all the screaming?”

“That’s the problem! He won’ stop!” He could hear Laa now too, the caveman joining the sound in a distressed fashion. “It’s this new sculpture! Ever since he got here a week ago he won’ stop cryin’! We’re gettin’ noise complaints and it’s freakin’ the other exhibits out, I thought you might know what to do, since you really know your onions.” Nick gave his father a curious look at her wording.

“Uhhh, can you try handing him the phone? I’ll talk to him.” The screaming continued, briefly interrupted by Tilly’s voice as she tried to offer it the phone. Still, his wailing went on.

“He won’t take it, just keep’s screamin’! I don’t know wha’ to do, Laaa’s gettin’ all upset!” He could hear the affection in her voice as his neanderthal duplicate continued to add to the noise.

“Umm, alright...” Larry wracked his brain for some solution, supposing that a gag might help if worst came to worst.

“Maybe we could go up and help?” Nick asked, sounding hopeful.

“Are you kidding? It’s an eight-hour flight, I’ve got tests to mark.”

“I’ll pay for my ticket.” The adolescent begged, giving him the biggest eyes he could muster. Larry tried to resist, but in the end he could only sigh, resigning himself to his son’s whims.

“Fine, Tilly, we’re on our way.”

“Brillo pads! I’ll meet you out back tomorrow night, the mean time I better try calmin’ everybody else down.”

“Alright, till then try a gag.”

“Cheerio!” Nick grinned as the phone cut off, getting up to grab his laptop.

“I’ll get the tickets!”

<strike>s</strike>

As agreed, they arrived out the back of the British Museum the next night. The sun had set not long ago, the two having come straight from the airport.

Tilly was standing waiting with a big grin, Laa and Ahkmenrah by her sides. Nick caught sight of the Egyptian Pharaoh and broke into a smile which rivalled Tilly’s, his pace quickening just a bit.

“Larry, it’s good to see you, and you, my friend.” Ahkmen greeted, the youngest looking at the floor in a suddenly bashful manner.

“Da!” Laaa greeted loudly, forcing Larry into a hug as his son giggled.

“Yes, hello Laaa.” He replied with discontent, still rather jet lagged. “So what’s going on?” Even from out there they could hear the distant yelling.

“Follow me.” Tilly instructed, nick moving to walk besides Ahkmen as they went inside, catching up with him quietly. “We got ‘im a week ago, a donation from Chatsworth. First night ‘ere he started wailing up a storm. Hasn’t stopped since. I’m surprised someone hasn’ called the coppers yet.” The blond explained, the group coming to enter the Greek display.

The room was filled with references of the Trojan war, a small replica of the wooden horse busy hiding its head between its front legs, and there in the middle of it all was a white marble statue of a man laying nude, crying at the top of his lungs.

In his personally experience statues were generally very quiet and peaceful, which was no doubt why the other statues from this display were all in the next room covering their ears.

“Hey! Achilles!” The statue ignored Tilly’s boisterous yelling. “At first I thought it must have been the heel, you know, but it’s fine.” She explained to Larry, the onlookers watching the once great warrior lying face down sobbing into rock, his helmet discarded on the floor.

Slowly, as not to startle the other, Larry made his way closer.

“Um, hello? Achilles? I’m Larry, here to uhh, to see if we can help sort this out. You mind telling me what’s wrong?” He went ignored, brow furrowing at the predicament.

“I think he misses Patroclus.”

“Huh?” Larry asked, having heard his son musing quietly to himself despite the ruckus.

“We learnt about the Illiad in my ancient history class, it said when Patroclus died Achilles cried so loud the gods at the bottom of the ocean heard him.”

“Well he’s certainly living up to expectation then.” Larry commented dryly.

“Let me try.” Nick suggested, waiting for his father’s nod before walking over and kneeling beside the plateu. “Achilles? My name’s Nick, I... I know about what happened to Patroclus.” The sculptures breath hitched, and for a brief moment the sound stopped.

“Then you know of my sorrow. My failure. My heart lies crumbled to dust like this stone body one day will. I have become a relic, a symbol of my failure, my loss, alone... without him.”

Nick cringed as the other started up again, even harder than before.

“Maybe...” the adolescent thought aloud, “Maybe you don’t have to be alone, maybe we could find Patroclus.” That got the marble man’s attention, his head slowly rising ever so slightly so he could judge the younger’s expression.

“But... he is dead?” He replied, sounding unsure.

“Well yeah, but so are you, technically.” The statue seemed to ponder this, his eyes dry for the moment. “There’s got to be a statue of him somewhere, hey dad!” Nick got up and hurried back over to his father, Ahkmen distracting him momentarily from sharing his idea with a smile.

“Well done Nicolas, I’m impressed.” The mummy complimented, completely derailing is trail of thought.

“Well?” Larry pressed, his sons eyes snapping back to him.

“Oh, we need to find a statue of Patroclus, or a wax model, anything.”

“Uhh,” Larry grabbed out his phone and hurriedly googled at his request “there’s one in Rome, but he’s dead in it and I highly doubt they’d be willing to give it up even if he weren’t.”

“I could put in a commission for a wax model, make a suggestion with the boss.” Tilly suggested.

”I’ll call McPhee and get him to put a good word in for you.” She nodded and Larry stepped out to make the call.

“Nice job, I recon you’d make a good night guard one day! Maybe you could even work here.” Tilly encourage, giving him an affectionate bump with her elbow.

“That... would be pretty awesome.” He agreed, angling a bashful smile in Ahkmen’s direction before quickly looking away.

“Come, my parents are excited to see you and Larry once more. They adore Jewish people.” Both chuckled at that and the younger allowed himself to be led off to the ancient Egypt exhibit, Tilly wriggling her eyebrows suggestively at the adolescent as he blushed.

Once Larry had finished speaking with his old boss he went as stood beside the now quiet sculpture.

“Good news, looks like we can get you a Patroclus in a couple of weeks, alright? Think you can keep it down till then?” Achilles stone eyes seemed to somehow light up, raising his head to look at the other

“He is truly coming?”

“If all goes well, yeah.” He suddenly broke into a huge grin, standing and enveloping him in a tight hug.

Larry groaned at the other’s strength, a big naked gay statue hugging him having to be one of the weirdest things that had happened to him in a while, only rivalled by that giant potato mash sculpture a student had made falling on him. 

“Thank you.” Achilles graciously chocked through fresh, happy tears.

“No problem.” Larry chocked back, taking a deep breath as he was put back down, his poor ribs screaming.

Tilly smiled as he turned back to her and Laa, Nick and Ahkman having long since disappeared.

“Cuppa?” The blond suggested.

<strike>s</strike>

By the morning the next day they were once again on a plane back to New York, both rather exhausted and yet neither wanting to sleep.

Nick had this goofy grin on his face that hadn’t seemed to disappear since his time with Ahkmenrah, Larry having noted this particular fact with curiosity.

“Had fun?” He asked, beginning to gently goad the other.

“Mmhm.” The younger nodded, still smiling dreamily.

“...That was a... pretty long goodbye hug you gave Ahkman.” The smile suddenly vaporised, Nick turning sheepish.

“Y-you think?”

“Mmm, anything.... going on there?” His son went bright pink, which in itself was answer enough.

“Well, no.” He admitted, sounding somewhat disheartened. Larry nodded, letting a short pause fall between them in case he wanted to add anything.

“If there were you know, I’d be fine with it.” The man decided to continue when the silence went too long.

Nicks eyes widened looking both surprised and relieved as he turned to him.

“Really?”

“Yeah, course.” Nick smiled, taking a deep breath and looking away as he appeared to steel himself.

_Here it came._

“Dad... I think I’m bi.”

_And there it was._

Larry nodded, both of them seeming to feel the weight of secrecy lift up off them.

“How long have you known?” He asked his son curiously.

“Since high school.” _A hell of a lot before he’d started noticing the signs then._

“Have you told your mom?”

“Yeah.”

“Is there... anyone you’re interested in, at the moment, besides an undead mummy on the other side of the world?” Nick went pink at his tease.

“It’s just a harmless little crush, dad.” He defended in a mumble.

“Ahhh. Well, I’m proud of you for telling me.” His son smiled, looking as though he couldn’t be happier. The moment was almost too precious. “So do all mummies get you excited or…?”

“Oh my god dad, shut up!”

<strike>s</strike>

Tilly contacted Larry via text the moment the commissioned wax model of Patroclus arrived, sending him a photo of the alabaster skinned Greek soldier in his crate. He was due to be set up by the curator tomorrow, but she was certain there would be no harm in taking him out to see Achilles tonight.

The sun was about to set so Tilly picked up the surprisingly heavy replica, coping a feel of his impressive muscles as she did, and carried him towards the exhibit.

She put him right in front of Achilles with his back to the Greek hero, so the sculpture would see him as soon as he woke up. That done she hid around the corner to watch, counting down the seconds as the sun disappeared.

The wax models eyes blinked, his face riddled with confusion as he looked around.

Behind him Achilles slowly rose up off the floor, a look of disbelief on his face.

“Patroclus?” The dark-skinned man turned at the sound of s name, both freezing at the sight of one another.

The statue stood in all his glory and grinned, the two collapsing into one another’s arms with laughter.

“You fool!” Achilles chastises through his tears, though Tilly had no idea how he was actually managing to cry when he was made of stone. 

“I learnt from the best.” Patroclus joked as they both laughed, staring into each other’s eyes. Tilly let out an audible sigh of relief, Laa coming to stand beside her and placing a big wet kiss on her cheek.

She supposed it was all just in a night of being a night guard- _oh_, the statues were making out now, things quickly becoming raunchy as they laid down on the plateu.

All the other displays had the propriety to leave the room, Tilly sneaking a quick peak before Laa dragged her away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!


End file.
